fragments of light

Bye bye blackbird. So long now

2011-06-10T10:46:00.000-07:00

I cannot explain this feeling. But i finally feel that i can breathe again.

Bye bye blackbird. So long. Dont miss me.

This too shall pass

2011-06-09T10:53:00.000-07:00

In this box, there are letters that were never sent, hopes, dreams, memories, pictures and a love that was lost. In just a few hours time, its all going to turn to ashes. It has been almost 7 years now and it is time to truly let go and move on. We have fall short of always and forever but i believe that there was a time when it did felt like it was going to last until the end. People change. And sometimes we have to except that things will never be the same again. We have loved and we have lost. But always remember that if there is still a chance, hold on to the people you love. Never let go. All because I believe that there is a reason to why two souls meet and fall in love in this stretch of mortal time. Appreciate the ones you love and never hurt them. Stay together because two is always stronger than one. "Like a team braced against the tempests of the world"-tree hill.

I have lost the person I once use to know. And the person I once called my own. I was never perfect but i gave my best. 7 years of dreams 7 years of hope 7 years of memories. Gone in the blink of an eye. But still, we all have to move on someday. And someday Ill look into the eyes of the person I will marry and know that all this hurt will be worth it. It has been an amazing journey. Its time to let go.

Because the person i fell in love with died a long long time ago.

Goodbye.

2011-05-31T10:13:00.000-07:00

I will never, ever believe in you again.

For those who believe

2011-05-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

Someday we'll know

2011-05-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

The night before every match means something to athletes. At least for those who love the game. Some are praying for a good game, some are running scared, some are well prepared, some dont even care, some want to win so badly and some who have already written the game as a lost.

But for me, i spend these nights thanking God for the chance i have to play the game. All because floorball has always been my refuge. Every minute i spend on court is every minute i get to erase a bad memory.

Its funny how before every game, i have the habit of looking up to the stands, even if there is no one there. Maybe i wish there was someone right there supporting me and standing by my side every minute and every second of the game. But for so long now, all i see is empty stands. Even when theres a crowd of people. I guess i will be doing the same tomorrow. At least with the hope of knowing someone will be there someday to see me play. Only then will I get to make someone proud and make all the effort worth it.

One of these days you'll wonder why youre all alone.

2011-05-04T06:07:00.000-07:00

My personal statement.

But we know that the law is good, if a man use it lawfully.

~1 timothy 1: 8-9

As a pupil in school, I was rebellious, and my rebellious nature got me into a lot of trouble. I often found myself in difficult situations with teachers for constantly voicing out honest opinions. There was this particular teacher whom I thought was picking on me most of the time. I was not the only pupil. It amazed me that some people were able to use their positions of authority, and of power to justify their actions whether or not it was right or wrong. It was then that I realized how important fairness is to innocent people. I want to study law because I can serve the people and also because I enjoy debates and arguments. I want to help people because I believe everyone has a purpose in life and this is mine. Coming from a La Sallian Brothers school, I believe that in life, we should help the lost, last and the least. And I strongly believe that I could help these people with my knowledge of the law.

I wish to study in the United Kingdom because the law programme is challenging in the sense that it is very condensed and focused. I also believe that since Malaysian law is based on English law, it will be advantageous for me to pursue a higher education there. I love the idea of studying in the United Kingdom and relish the thought of soaking up the culture and its rich history too. I wish to excel as a lawyer in the future and I believe that the best way to achieve my goal is to enter a university in the United Kingdom. I believe that exposure to different cultures will enrich my understanding of people and teach me about different social backgrounds and their respective values. I also believe that life away from home will greatly discipline me and this character will better prepare me for life in legal practice.

As a student of A-Level History, Math and Economics, I believe that I am well prepared to study law. I enjoy history; the immense pleasure and knowledge I derive from understanding historical processes has impacted my views on justice. From studying the Russian Revolution, I learnt that the ideas of Karl Marx inspired a group of people who went on to change the course of history but in the process violated human rights and because of that, millions of people suffered. In the name of creating a more equal society, great injustice was done to the people. Math has taught me the value of objectivity and of following logical processes to solve problems. I believe that it is important that the application of the law should maintain a degree of objectivity and logic in decision making. Economics has increased my understanding of the modern world and how economic forces powerfully influence the actions of people and governments. A sound legal framework will minimize the negative externalities of the workings of an economy, for example on the environment.

I have spoken to lawyers who are currently fighting for the rights of the native people in Malaysia and I am very keen to do the same. From my conversations with them, I have a clear picture of what it will be like to study law in the United Kingdom and how law is practiced in real life. My high school is situated just hundred metres from the courthouse. I once went to the courthouse as a mini field trip with my classmates. A short experience, but a memorable one nonetheless.

As testament to my desire to serve the people, I have been to places to help the less fortunate. In recent years, I have been to Battambang, in Cambodia and New Delhi, in India to work with the underprivileged children of the slums. I am a leader of the 'ReachProject', a group of volunteers responsible for teaching and educating underprivileged children. I am currently leading and working with them to help poor children in Penang. We offer them free Math and English classes. My time on this project has taught me how fortunate I am and I wish to give back to society one day. Overall, these experiences have consolidated my desire to involve myself in humanitarian issues.

I also enjoy playing the piano, photography and sports like floorball and football. Through music, I have learned that discipline and commitment can produce works of immense beauty. I have completed the Grade 8 level for the ABRSM (Associated Board of the Royal School of Music) music course and reached the Grade 5 level for the Yamaha School of Music programme. Besides that, I am captain of my school's football team and represent the State of Penang in floorball as a member of the state team. I am also proud to have completed a half marathon in the year 2010, apart from many other running events. I recently won first prize for a national level photography competition as its youngest contestant. I was also the youngest ever elected patrol leader for my high school Scouts troop throughout its 159 years of rich history. To some, all these are merely achievements, but to me, all these have taught me that I can overcome hardship and hurdles if we tell ourselves in the words of President Barack Obama, "Yes we can".

Am I prepared to study law? Yes, I believe I am. I am a fast learner. Another of my traits is that I am able to connect with people from diverse social backgrounds. My work with the underprivileged children bears testament to this. I am adventurous and I am willing to venture by myself to foreign lands whose languages I do not speak. To some, these are setbacks, to me, another hurdle to overcome if you truly believe in what you want to do in life and what needs to be done to reach that goal. I know that studying law is not easy because it is full of pressure. It takes courage and I have it, because in the words of Ernest Hemingway, "courage is grace under pressure".

Dont look back in anger

2011-05-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

Five years ago, on valentines day, my uncle was lying in bed at the hospital. At that moment, i never knew that it was the last chance to ever get to see my uncle. I chose to spend time with the person i used to love and i even bought her a mug as a gift. Today, 5 years later, she has left without a reason and all that is left with me is the regret that i should have been there with my uncle. We all have regrets and that is mine.

Take a good look at the picture above. What do you see? A crowd of people? Faces? Magnitude? Well i see stories. And behind every face, behind every exterior and behind every emotion, lies a story, most of them untold. Most of them shared with loved ones and, the saddest thing, most of them told, to the wrong people or some may say, the people that could have been. What is your story? We all see the world differently and we all have different stories. But as long as i have lived, i believe those stories mean nothing, if there is no one you can share them with.

Sometimes in life, we see the things that we dont want to see. We go through the things that we dont want to go through. As humans, we dread every tear and heartache, and the most hurtful thing, watching the person you love with someone else. Its funny, how, in crowd of people, possibly millions, only one have the power to haunt you, and bring you to tears. Its funny how the hardest thing to do, is to let go.

Sometimes we built a wall to guard our hearts against the pain and hurt. Why then do those walls fall? Why then do we still feel hurt

My eyes have seen many things over the past 19 years. Like how they saw emptiness in a crowd full of people. Like how they never again saw another birthday cake with candles for 7 years. Like how they saw the person i used to love leave for another person. My heart? Well, i was called a useless son on my 15th birthday, slept in the lobby of a hotel because i had nowhere to go, beaten up by the roadside, cut myself, begged for money from strangers so that i can buy a reload card for someone who did not appreciate it even when i did not have enough money even for myself to buy food at school during break, been called shorty for millions of times, never been surprised for my birthday, stood alone when everyone turned their back on me, lost the best of friends, betrayed by someone i trusted time and time again while i was away in Cambodia, and continued to play floorball while the person i used to love showed up with another guy at the stadium. Maybe what i went through was not as bad as many people out there, but it was enough for me to drive me to the depths of the worst a person could be.

Today i stand here with a story to tell. And my story is not about how sad, angry and hurt i used to be. My story is that every tear will turn to armor, every pain and heartache will be lessons, every bad day is a reminder of the good days you are about to have, every fake smile will turn to real smiles, and for every person that leaves our lives, there is another that will come. Today i stand here not saying that i have changed or that i am fully recovered, i stand here today as someone who is willing to try to let go of the things that were never meant to be, and the past. I have learnt that in life, nobody can hurt you unless you give them the permission to do so. I have also learnt that, in every moment of anger, sadness and pain, that a smile would not be able to make things better, but it will help us dance gracefully through the tempests of the world. Because, sometimes, the only way out is through. Today i stand here and make a promise to myself, to never hurt the people that hurt me. Especially the ones that i used to love.

We never stop to think how much our lives can change if we had enough courage to pull out a smile in moments of anger and pain. But today, whoever you are, as you are reading this, learn to smile, love and let go of the past. All because life is too short for regrets.

This post is dedicated to my uncle.

Ong Cheng Ho

1939-2007

We all have to move on. One way or another

2011-04-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

Someday Somehow Someway, Someone :)

2011-03-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

"When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth..." -coldplay

we are all humans

2011-03-17T23:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when i see a middle aged man all alone in mcdonalds. Well, with not so expensive clothes, wearing a pouch, eating ice cream and with a chinese news paper in hand, i feel uneasy. Especially when he is alone. Then his daughter shows up, they share an ice cream and off they go after they are done. Then all i can see is their backs and him carrying her school bag. Then its off to the bus stop for a ride home. Sometimes we see the things that happen right in front of our eyes and we dont feel anything. But underneath the tough exterior, maybe the man is fighting a hard battle, maybe he feels lost. Or maybe, for all you know, he could be happy and contented. Same thing happens when i am traveling, alone or not. I see things like that and wonder about the story behind those faces.

The thing about travelling that amazes me sometimes is that for

every face you see, that is probably the last time you will ever see it. So i guess from now on ill be nice to everyone i see. All because i know that everyone is fighting a hard battle. Youll never know, you might just give a little hope into someone's life, just by a simple smile or a kind gesture.

no flowery words, no fancy pictures, and no talk, just faith.

2011-02-16T02:43:00.001-08:00

When you let go of the things you want, God will give you the things you need :)

I am truly blessed

India

2011-02-02T19:34:00.000-08:00

Last year i walked the streets of Delhi.
This year il do the same. Instead, il be visiting two places.
In Delhi, il be working with street kids, in Himachal, il be working at a coffee house. How cool is that?

Introducing, New Delhi.
Now, introducing Himachal Pradesh!
Beautiful, no? :)

Reasons

2011-01-29T05:26:00.000-08:00

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

~Christina Perri~

Speedstar 5

2011-01-27T06:52:00.000-08:00

Sigh. :(

Real men dont quit

2011-01-25T05:18:00.000-08:00

uplands vs hard rock hotel indian staff.
uplands won 8-4.

Post Secret

2011-01-21T07:57:00.000-08:00

My Very own POST SECRET.

Hope

2011-01-19T00:33:00.000-08:00

God, let this video project come from you.
So that their voices can be heard too.

Post Secret

2011-01-17T06:45:00.000-08:00

somewhere out there, someone is struggling too. :)

I wonder if these people will ever get to know God. sigh

Are we really doing enough?

2011-01-14T09:11:00.000-08:00

Where would you want to wake up, if there were no limitations?
Ever came across this question?
Well if there is anyone out there reading this right now,
have you ever thought of what you would have done,
if you knew that at some moment in time, that it was your last moment, or last kiss with the person you love,
would you have done things more differently?
would you spend it with more heart, more love, and more joy?
would you have kissed them with more love?
Well, we will never know.
As for the question earlier,
i would love to wake up 6 years ago, i wish that this was all just a dream.
Goodnight world.

2011-01-12T08:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Beautiful,

If confessions are what confessions are for,

Here's mine.

Im childish, insecure, rude, restless, unreasonable and unfixable.

But i would never do anything to harm the person i love. Through the years, it was my flaws that the relationship ever failed. And time after time nothing ever seems to last. And maybe, just maybe, this time i thought it would. And laying there at the hospital bed, i saw myself in the future with you, holding hands, and the meals we would share. And then i saw myself in

the mirror. I saw someone broken. And someone as beautiful does not deserve someone broken. Broken from all the promises that were never fulfilled, the hopes and dreams that were never shared, and the saddest part, the what-could-have-beens. I looked into your eye, as determined as you were to salvage whatever that was left from this broken heart, in hopes of starting something new, in hopes of making it to the finish line. As bright as the light of the end of the tunnel maybe, maybe those lights were meant for you, maybe those lights were for you to dance gracefully in, as they to, dance on your face.

Youll never know, the reason i pushed you away. The reason why i never let you in. The reason why it was so hard for you to understand. And the reason why i hurt you.

But at least you should know, that I have always loved you.

Maybe we were not meant for the finish line, but we ran the race, and we met somewhere a long the way. And somewhere along the way we met and we ran it together.

Im sorry for hurting you, but like i said, those bright lights are waiting for you.

So shine as bright as you can, go far and brave the tempests of the world.

Dont look back, and move on.

You were meant for so much more.

Love always,

Ling.

2011-01-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

Ive been running for so long,
I dont even remember when i started,
Last year i ran away from all my hurts and fears,
I shut out the other half of the world i used to call, my own,
Its never easy leaving a place that is once called a home.
I was away too long to remember what comfort really is.
Hurts are never healed, and that was when i learned to let go.
This year,
I wanna breathe again,
Have good conversations again,
Have a nice meal :)
Just talk,
Laugh,
Hold hands,
Kiss,
and most of all,
I wanna feel loved again.
Thats my new years resolution.

Gold Coast Airport-Ascis Half Marathon (2-3 July 2011)

2011-01-02T02:56:00.000-08:00

Once i get the green light ill be flying there on the 1st and coming back on the 4th.

Will be my second time at Gold Coast but first time running the half marathon.

Im using this run for training grounds for the Penang Bridge run with Nick and the boys.

Yes, Nick's new years resolution is to run the half marathon for the Penang Bridge Run.

I dont care if i finish slow behind the ang mohs. Ill finish it! My aim? Improve my time :)

Asics speedstar 4

2010-12-09T20:17:00.000-08:00

Made a huge mistake not investing in proper running shoes.

Could have seriously damaged my feet and knees for the penang bridge run.

Right now i would love to take part in more runs and my aim is to improve my time.

And with the rate im going im never going to be able to save enough for my shoes :(

So santa, please send me some shoes for Christmas. Thank you.

I wont give up saving money for my shoes this time!

penang bridge run 21km half marathon

2010-11-21T04:19:00.000-08:00

This was my first run ever in any major event.

Ran with James and Gary.

The first 2.7 kilometres was a drag but i didn feel any sore anywhere.

Reached the bridge quite fast to my surprise.

Paced myself with an Indian man who helped me. Thank you so much.

Did not stop on the bridge at all. kept running til the 14.6 mark after the bridge.

It started to rain heavily on the bridge.

let me tell you the bridge isnt as short as it seems. Its killing and the pain is crazy.

Dont come and tell me that you think it can be done easily.

Ran til e gate when i started to feel my legs give way.

Kept pushing and walked slowly as my knees and ankles were killing me. wrong shoe.

At the 20th km i wanted it all to end soon. It was unbearable but i told my self not to stop til the finish line.

And by Gods mercy i did it. :) Thank God.

If i were a wizard

2010-11-18T08:30:00.000-08:00

While some might go for Cho, Ginny, Fluer or Hermione,

I would definitely go for Luna.

If i were a wizard in Harry potter world of course.

The way she speaks is indescribable. I love it.

There is something so mysterious about her i like,

that makes her so beautiful yet weird in a good way at the same time.

Harry is stupid.

If i were Harry id go for Luna.

Have faith in me

2010-11-17T05:53:00.000-08:00

I only wish to finish the race. Nothing else.

Fast or slow i do not care as long as i finish it.

I will not give up no matter what.

2010-11-11T07:03:00.000-08:00

Today i stood at the front of my house at night.

It was very windy and i thought to myself,

By this time every year when i used to be 13, 14 and 15,

i was looking forward to many things.

The feeling of "hey its the end of the year" used to feel so nice.

And all the excitement waiting for church camps and etc, i can never forget.

Its all gone now.

And i miss it alot.

I miss being able to look forward to those.

everything has changed now and although we all may have to grow up someday,

and change will happen.

i say screw it.

Because i really miss those days and i wish i could have them back.

Its really sad,

for a moment there i felt how i was suppose to feel this time those years.

And i really really miss it.

Sigh.

I want them all back.

I could never really let those days go.

Those were the days were i felt alive.

Now all i can do is just look at pictures and be reminded of what everything used to be.

Memories.

2010-10-29T11:16:00.000-07:00

School has been okay so far this term. Looking forward to christmas break!

2010-10-28T07:47:00.001-07:00

I think shes really pretty.

History test tomorrow

2010-10-27T06:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks alot man. Seriously. Why did you even wanna go conquer the world. And whats with that arm band of yours. Very cool eh? Your moustache is also very cool. Wow. Fantastic. Marvelous. And your hairstyle oh my gosh so handsome!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo. Okay please dont haunt me tonight.

One question.

2010-10-26T06:15:00.001-07:00

If today was my last day on earth, what would i do? And who would i spend it with?

-First, i would love to go see a Coldplay concert at Japan or something where it is cold and nice and all i can hear is the crowd singing and the music playing. Probably with some snow.

-I would love to visit the Taj mahal again and probably have breakfast by the fountain in front of the largest love monument ever built by men.

-I would love to dance and play football in the rain with my best friends.

-I would love to have ice cream at the north pole over looking the beautiful lights from the auroras.

-Sing oldies in the middle of the night in Delhi, India again with my good friend Ashwin.

-Tell my childhood sweetheart that i will always love her.

-Skydive over the viking trail in the Netherlands.

-Visit Stella Maris where most of my teenage years memories began. Probably drink champagne at the area over looking the beach.

-Take the house of hope kids to Mcdonalds and get a happy meal for myself. And give my football boots to Sasi.

-Say sorry to everyone that i have hurt.

-Lastly, i would love to play music from 'explosions in the sky' , lie on the roof of my car, watch a movie from a big screen, gaze at the stars, say a prayer, and close my eyes for the last few seconds i have left and smile. :)

I would spend it with my first love.

some of the things that i would love to do someday. While s

ome want wealth and money or to study and get a phd or own a damn big house, someday all i wish for is to get to to all these things. Beauty is everywhere. All you need to do is open your eyes.

I will always love you.

2010-10-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

The moment of truth,

the moment of clarity when you finally realize,

when your eyes see what you do not want to see,

when you have no idea it has been going on,

their laughter, their joy, their memories that are being made.

the price you pay for shutting down the other fragment of the world that kills you.

The laughter,

the joy,

the tears,

the memories.

Flashback like the passing wind,

And you feel what you have never felt in a while.

Sadness.

The ghost of your past comes back and haunts you.

And then it stops.

For the moment, the scar does not hurt as much,

and it does not overwhelm you with the desire to stick a knife in your heart.

No darling dont hurt yourself.

Smile.

You try and try to feel hurt, to feel lost, to feel the aftermath it is suppose to bring.

And then you realize,

at that split second moment,

The person you loved,

and the person whom you once called your own,

perished a long time ago.

I will follow you into the dark

2010-10-17T20:23:00.000-07:00

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangcock to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

2010-10-13T03:05:00.001-07:00

Going to fail my math paper for sure.

But before that let me tell you my prayer before test.

I said i would praise God if or if i do not do well.

And yes I will still praise God with my hands held high.

Please stand by me God.

Uplands school. 1st runner up-iskl football tourney

2010-10-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

and....

gg.

2010-10-05T10:28:00.000-07:00

Never be afraid of failing,

Results only get you so far,

Because sometimes, The beauty is in the attempt.

Ive noticed that nobody will actually help you.

I realised nobody will stand by you.

Everybody is selfish.

That is why we have to fend for ourselves everyday.

Like how we send soldiers to war,

we are constantly having to fight for our survival.

Nobody can help you,

but yourself.

I know that but i just cant help but feel that sometimes if we have a special someone to come home to, or to tell them about our rough day, or to just drown out the world for the moment,

the next day would be another challenge but a less painful and stressful one.

Grace.

Its not in all of us, but if only we could have it with us to go through the darkest of hours. Sigh

Two will always be stronger than one.

Like a team braced against the tempests of the world.

So whether or not we are doing badly in school,

having bad grades,

feeling left out and completely incompetent in whatever we are doing,

remember that,

sometimes the beauty is in the attempt.

" I failed most of the subjects when i was young while my friend did really well. Now he is a manager for microsoft, I am the owner." -bill gates

Smile :)

2010-09-29T04:22:00.001-07:00

Sigh

2010-09-28T03:06:00.000-07:00

For a moment there i lost sight of what i needed,

For a moment there i thought it was the truth.

Truth is i am a failure.

I will always be.

Ive failed countless times just because i loved too much,

Held on too much,

All i know is,

I failed miserably.

As a friend,

As a person,

But i hope someday,

Someone would tell me that im worth it,

and that they are proud of me.

The rest will be history.

Sigh.

my cry

2010-09-22T08:46:00.000-07:00

Every night before game day,

You would hold me before i sleep,

maybe not literally but it felt as if you were.

Youd tell me that i was the best.

We both know i wasnt but youd still tell me that just because.

Youd tell me not to give up hope and youd encourage me.

You were my pillar of stronghold.

I could see that you were uncomfortable,

sitting all alone in the bleachers not knowing anyone around you,

but you where there to support me,

You were there for me, alone.

Your heart would stop everytime i took a fall,

i could see that you cared deeply.

And when my team lost, youd hold me and say it will all be okay.

You were my comfort and my strength.

You told me that one day my team would make it.

You believed in me.

And the thing that touched me the most,

You loved the game just because i do.

And because you believed in me,

I made it through the darkest of times.

and the depths of failure.

I could depend on you.

Because of that,

i was strong.

Now when i stare at the bleachers,

or at the sidelines.

Everything around stops for a split second,

and then im reminded,

of what everything used to be.

You were there,

every second, every moment, every sweat and every tear.

You were there,

through it all.

Now all i can see,

is your ghost and what used to be..

2010-09-20T01:06:00.000-07:00

Later

by Jessica Quah

In the heart of my heart
your music is fading away
if you come close enough
to my warmth
you can feel your magic
glittering like the rain
on golden spring blossoms.

In the heart of my heart
your books are gathering dust
if you look deep enough
into my eyes
you can see your past
reflected like the moon
in autumn drops of dew.

And
like the blood in my veins
our memories flow
pulse
blend and blur their edges and
contaminate.

In the heart of my heart
your pictures are face down
if you listen close enough
to my silence
you can hear your story
whispered like shivering windchimes
on drifting summer breath.

And
like the streets of a city
our lives twist
turn
loop back around themselves and
detour.

2010-09-18T08:29:00.000-07:00

John 15:18-19

" If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you." "If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. "

-one of the many encounters with God during my mission trip to India.

God is good.

2010-09-16T03:46:00.000-07:00

Today we lost. Next week we'll own.

Close your eyes

2010-09-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

by daniel tan

Fragments of light were glistening through the dark abyss.

The moonlight danced on his face as beautiful as ever.

He shivered as a bitter wind swept past.

Memories were playing in the pages of his mind.

He tore a piece of parchment and scribbled his last few words with the very little ink left in is pen.

He wrote,

Sometimes when I sleep,

It is not merely the closing of my eyes to a world of darkness.

Because when I sleep,

And if im lucky,

I get to dream of you.

So I sleep and I sleep.

Sometimes when I sleep,

For the moment the pain is gone.

The rejection,

the suffering,

the loneliness,

It goes away…

Because when I sleep,

And when I dream of you,

I find hope when I look into your eyes.

So I sleep and I sleep.

Sometimes when I sleep,

And when you appear in my dreams,

I can hold your hand,

Give you a kiss,

And then we would lie down next to each other under the stars.

Then with your sweet voice you would whisper to me,

I love you,

Everything is going to be okay.

So I sleep and I sleep.

Sometimes when I sleep,

The world is mine.

And when I close my eyes,

Sometimes it is not what it seems.

I hope youre happy now that Im gone.

Just promise me you will smile,

Because you look beautiful when you do.

Maybe one day ill sleep,

And never wake up.

Then maybe I will smile.

I love you.

Forever.

2010-09-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

There is NO such thing as not loving someone enough.

Either you love them with all your heart or you DONT.

2010-09-10T09:58:00.000-07:00

You are the only exception

2010-08-28T20:45:00.000-07:00

When you look back,

Everything has changed..

The inevitable

2010-08-26T00:16:00.000-07:00

Life,

would you end it to take away the suffering?

take what away when youre gone really??

Is it worth your life for someone who broke your heart?

Or would you, at that split second moment, choose to love again.

Would you let go of the hurt and choose to live in pain,

I promise in time, that pain goes away?

Wouldnt it be simple,

If everone could just tell the truth,

when you say forever,

when you say always,

do you mean it?

A broken promise is not worth a life.

Its worth you trying to make better and real promises to the ones who are worthit in the end.

Sometimes maybe the pain blinds you,

and the hurt and suffering never ceases to leave.

But would you,

in that time, hold on to that very last ammount of faith you have,

and choose to take the blame,

and choose to let go,

and choose to love the ones who trully loves you.

a heart breaks, faith will never.

When you lose faith, its not that the faith is gone,

its just your mind telling you that theres no way out.

Faith,

it is always there,

it always has been.

Someday,

when you look into the eyes of the person that trully loves you,

trust me,

that smile, the laughter, those dimples, the songs that accompany your love story, the small moments, the meals you wil have together, the hope, the joy, the tears, the massages, the breakfasts in bed, the holding of hands, the looking into each others eyes, the silly moments,

Wil be worth the risk.

Faith,

its more than just a word.

learn to trust God, learn to let go, learn to love again.

2010-08-25T09:36:00.000-07:00

i wonder what its like to feel happy on a birthday.

i wonder what are surprises like.

or a party is like.

if only i knew then i could answer myself.

this too shall pass

2010-08-24T01:18:00.000-07:00

Not too long ago,

i was walking to the toilet in uplands during math class when i noticed a painting on the wall and on that painting were the words ' this too shall pass'.

and it kinda struck me that sometimes no matter how down we are in our lives,

someday, maybe not anytime soon,

things wil change. things wil get better.

At some point in our lives,

we might feel as if the world has taken over our souls, our life, our everything.

And things couldnt possibly get any worse.

perhaps maybe a broken heart, and the brokenness of the soul.

Sometimes at that moment,

we are blinded by the hurt and the pain that we cant see whats ahead of us.

And when we are bitter, we hurt the people that love us.

One good friend once told me he was so hurt he didnt know what to do anymore. And its funny how sometimes when we promise the people we love that we would protect them from the pain of the world, another second we are in each others faces trying to bring the other down. funny isnt it? How we love to hurt the people we onced love so we ourselves could feel better? Trust me. Someday, the pain might just go away. And trust me, someday, that hurt could make you stronger.

And its funny how through all of this, in the darkest of the night, i find that hope, that light that filled the deepest and darkest hollows of my empty heart, that comfort.

Only when i decided to let go, to leave the past and to take the blame,

i found that the little things we always take for granted are the ones worth suffering for.

Like someone onced told me,

if you dont let go of the things that hurt you, youre not giving in to the things that is going to make you happy and the things that are going to be worth the wait.

And remember,

the answer is never found in darkness.

Every pain and hurt, shall pass.

So pick yourself up and start walking,

somewhere along the line it gets easier.

Do not let your fire go out spark by irreplaceble spark,

In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet and the not at all,

Do not let the hero in your soul perish,

in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but never been able to reach.

The world you desire can be won.

It exists,

It is possible,

It is real,

It is yours.

-one tree hill-

"This too shall pass"- these very words saved my life, it could save yours too. Hold on. just hold on.

Charis by danieltsy.photos

2010-08-05T20:56:00.000-07:00

Solo set. two hours. kit lens

rest at facebook

Carmen

2010-08-04T10:04:00.000-07:00

Carmen,

by danieltsy.photos.

thanks james and chooi for helping.

rest of the photos at facebook.

Never back down

2010-08-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

All my life i have been thought to come back fighting.

And somewhere along the way,

I have learnt that,

sometimes it takes more than just courage and strength to fight back.

It takes Faith...

Louis pang inspire workshop

2010-07-31T09:10:00.001-07:00

ONE WORD: AWESOME

thanks louis pang....

Meet my lil bro shaun. He likes computer games...

2010-07-22T06:08:00.001-07:00

I was so proud of shaun when....

and then...

Judo #day1

2010-07-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

Went to learn judo with pastor.

got to throw him around and i also got thrown around like nobodys business.

day one and i have a massive headache from spinning around and the japanese names for the moves is making me confused

Pastor victor (portrait)

2010-07-17T10:10:00.001-07:00

danieltsy.photos

2010-07-16T15:59:00.000-07:00

To anyone who misunderstood,

Just cos i didn love the person back, if you have a problem with me, say it to my face, come on i dare you.

If not, please dont say anything.

And all of you other matured people who want to have a say in this,

Im not sorry i took a damn picture with my good friend charis.

Il end here.

And do something bout your lives and your walk with god instead of spending your time judging and labeling.

umbrella set up

2010-07-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

finally got mine

2010-07-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

The jump to Nikon is not easy.

georgetown festival 2010

2010-07-07T10:34:00.000-07:00

gear; all i could use

REST ON FACEBOOK

coffee shop photoshoot

2010-07-05T02:24:00.000-07:00

danieltsy.photos
location: kimberly street

REST AT FACEBOOK

felix's photoshoot

2010-07-01T23:34:00.000-07:00

location: prai train station

gear: 20w twin video lighting

canon f 1.8

REST OF THE PICTURES AT FACEBOOK

2010-06-30T04:23:00.000-07:00

The cry for hope.

by Daniel Tan.

We are the ones who dread going to school.

we are the ones who get discriminated against by the teachers in school.

we are the ones who sleep in class,

and the ones teachers dont care about.

we are the ones who sit behind and feel left out during lessons.

we are the ones who never get the chance to go for price giving ceremonies.

we are the ones who never get good grades in exams.

we are the ones who never get the chance to lead.

we are the ones, teachers pass of as failures.

we are the ones who teachers say will be lost in the future.

we are the ones, who they say are always left behind.

we are the ones, who are not talented.

Think again,

because maybe we are the ones who go home and try,

we are the ones who hope for better days,

we are the ones who wish we were just like the other kids who can do well,

we are the ones who sometimes give up because YOU never gave us a chance.

Could you really blame us?

if we are the ones who dont make it?

because we are the ones who cry in our hearts hoping that school will be pleasant,

we too want to become better students,

we are the ones whom you never see, suffer at home because YOU pay more attention to the so called elite students.

we are the ones who sit through examinations with fear.

perhaps even sadness.

we are the ones who TRY.

If you give us a chance,

then maybe YOU can see,

we are the ones who are talented.

maybe not in a way you think it should be.

We are the ones who will be happy in the future.

because while all your elite students sit in their desks and enjoy their high paying jobs,

we are the ones who will brave ourselves against the tempests of the world.

we are the ones who will learn what its like to fall before we succeed.

we are the ones who will know how to care and love those who are once what we call, us.

we are the ones who will ride the waves of life like brave men just as soldiers do on the battlefield.

And when you might need us someday,

Remember,

We were the ones you left behind.

2010-06-28T00:14:00.000-07:00

Is it possible?
by Joanna Kwan

To love when it is most difficult

To understand when nothing makes sense

To show compassion when it is inconvenient

To show kindness when it is unfair.

To be selfless in times of need

To respect before it is deserved

To be humble in moments of rising

To be patient when it is unclear.

To accept the imperfections

To believe the impossible will happen

To embrace the present and the future

And to have faith when in despair.

Written by Joanna Kwan..

2010-06-24T07:06:00.000-07:00

Been working with joblink centre for the handicapped.

basically this centre provides jobs for these handicapped people and assist them in generating their own income.

really really sad sight to see.

there was this girl who was actually very pretty, but however tried to commit suicide when she was 12 because of bad results for upsr-which left her handicapped for life.

helped them make files to sell.

they receive only 62 bucks a month can you believe it. some of us finish that in one meal.

so if you have time please volunteer at centres like these.

they need your help.

instead of clubbing, and clowning around, go help these people.

or at least try.

camerons 2010 firebrands

2010-06-18T08:55:00.000-07:00

If there are more days like these,

life would be so beautiful.

Beverly's photoshoot

2010-06-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

Check out the rest at facebook

flash

2010-06-15T05:44:00.000-07:00

Got a new flash and flash diffuser today at 'click n snap' komtar.

cannon 430ex ii

demb flash diffuser

2010-06-12T10:21:00.000-07:00

photos of Aunty ramas bday on my facebook and j productions.

How am i going to compete with that?

ever had that thought?

Today i found out something that really hurt me.

Lets just say something that meant so much to you loved something else-or shall i say someone else.

and that she had been seeing him.

At first it really hurt,

And sometimes you do feel so broken and jealous.

but now its just making it easier for me to let go knowing she has someone better.

How am i going to compete with better looks, a taller person, and possibly a perfect one?

Thing is i dont have to.

Guys, you dont have to.

Just wait for that angel.

She will be flawed, but in a way, flawless.

Wait, just wait.

Youll be surprised you can love someone more than you ever did.

Just hold on

2010-06-10T02:07:00.000-07:00

"Im selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you cant handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell dont deserve me at my best"- marilyn monroe

Twin Light 20w Video Lighting

2010-06-09T06:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, went to 'CLICK n SNAP' komtar.

Met this good photographer,

his name is Matthew Chuah-see matthewchuah.com/blog, and his mentor is Louis Pang.- see louispang.com

This guy thought me some stuff.

Said i could join his group of photographers if i can show him that i can take portrait photos.

Need to learn more from this guy. Good stuff

Basically wedding photography stuff.

Got a new video light.

And its Awesome.

Some stuff that i used the video lighting

Im still learning, dont be harsh

heres my new toy,

booyah!

2010-06-08T19:39:00.001-07:00

NOTE to MYSELF:

"The difference between Art and Shit is someone’s opinion." - Albert Normandin

"If you own an oven it does not make you a top chef" likewise, "if you own a camera, it does not make you a professional photographer". - Giles Christopher

So Daniel, please work hard.

2010-06-08T07:29:00.000-07:00

my sister

Castles in the sky

2010-06-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

Took this picture from my place during sunset.

Touch up by my Mac.

Just changing the temperature and contrast can do wonders.

Got a new portrait lens lens. F/ 1.8. Canon.

2010-06-03T05:46:00.000-07:00

"There is no secret.

Just keep shooting and deal with the pain.

Somewhere along the line it gets easier."

2010-06-01T08:26:00.000-07:00

Emerald glass

23052010

By Jessica Quah, 18, Uplands.

through emerald glass
I can’t see more than you want to show me
I don’t see how you can control me
I can’t feel any more than
anything that you say is real

in your eyes
the sky is a vivid shade of sunset
I see myself and my soul reflected
in the mirror of your pain
the illusion of our lives
and I am falling again
into your crystal tears

tell me
that you don’t care and
that you just don’t know anymore
and tell me
everything that you’re hiding inside
everything that’s dying inside
behind your eyes

through emerald glass
some things remain
you left a stain on me but
through emerald glass
I can see that this too will pass.

Things that make love beauiful.

2010-05-22T07:50:00.000-07:00

I have always wanted to share my meal with someone special.

Go on, the stars are watching.

2010-05-19T07:32:00.001-07:00

Somewhere along the line, ive forgotten what it means to love someone.

And i dont have to pretend im okay, because im not.

And i realised that if i loved you in the first place,

what i trully want for you is to see you happy.

And if letting go is what it takes,

Then so be it.

As hard as it may be,

And as much as i wish you were here,

In the end,

all i wish for you is the best.

Goodbye.

If only there was the easy way out...

2010-05-19T00:46:00.001-07:00

School has been...

2010-05-17T06:55:00.000-07:00

Not many of us so called college people with not much fun and vanity and the so called college life with cam whoring in class or acting stupid or wearing mini skirts to school but sometimes the silence reminds us about the simple things that makes school so much more bearable. Its a lonely road but im sure the destination is more important.

No starbucks? No old town? No queensbay? Who gives a shit. Here we have Tony's.

Screw you and your college life. I love uplands.
One more satay for you.

I Hate You

2010-05-17T00:32:00.001-07:00

Darling, today you died.

Move along

2010-05-11T05:23:00.000-07:00

Remember when you said that one day we will make it?

Remember when you said that it will all be okay?

Remember when we dreamed about days like this?

Remember when you were there,

every single moment of it all?

the before and the after.

Because you knew that this day would come,

because you told me so,

because you made me believe,

because you were my pillar of faith,

Thank you.

Nothing but the blood of jesus

2010-05-05T05:52:00.000-07:00

"And we must take the current when it serves us,

Or lose the ventures before us..."

Just pray and maybe God will open this door for me.

I need cash.

anyone?

Someday

2010-04-29T04:52:00.000-07:00

Together we cry

by Jessica Quah, 18, Uplands school.

When things don’t feel right,
when there’s something wrong somewhere but
you can’t quite put a name to it.
When it seems like the facade is crumbling
faster than you can build it back up,
when the truth starts shattering home.
When you thought you knew what to do,
when it all becomes heart-rendingly clear
that you don’t.
When you need,
when you wish,
when you know it’s not happening.

For the moment of dread-laced anticipation,
every aching heartbeat,
each second of numb impact.
For scar tissue
and bad dreams,
for silent questions that aren’t answered.
For everything
that you know but wish you didn’t
and for something
that we’re all trying to find but can’t.
For the things nobody knows, and
for the things everyone remembers.

In memory of what we used to be, and
in hope of what we will become.

the lights surrounding you

2010-04-26T07:25:00.001-07:00

someday,

maybe just someday,

ill get to see those lights again,

and in that moment,

ill turn and look at the fragments of light dancing on your beautiful face.

and then ill kiss you.

sound of music

2010-04-25T06:11:00.001-07:00

Went to watch mgs orchestra perform with the Leows and also to support Sharon-shes the conductor.

Brought my slr and took some shots.

After that, pastor chong leang took us to station one near city bayview for dinner. Had a small birthday celebration there. Thank you so much. I really appreciated it. I love you guys.

my awesome cake :)

love?

2010-04-21T06:26:00.000-07:00

Im gonna talk about boygirl relationship for no apparent reason. why? cos i feel like it.
Anyway at school, i read some article in the news paper.
some wife broke down because her husband was sentence to death by the court for smuggling drugs.
The article also states there that she also waited for her husband and handed him a cloth to cover his face from the reporters.
Makes me wonder if there are still women or girls who would do that for the person they love. stand by them even when faced with humiliation and pain.I mean nowadays you just dont really see that anymore.
You dont see women standing up for the man they love or vice versa.
You dont see the love anymore.
What ever happened to standing beside each other when braving the tempests of the world?

there was even an old couple who put up on the streets because they had no home.

Together on the streets. How many of you would do that and stand by the person you love?

How many of you would STAND BY THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE?

despite imperfection?

Come on, dont ever ever tell someone else you will love them forever if you wouldnt even stand by them.

Bullshit. dont say forever, dont say always, dont even say you love them if youd leave them when things get harder.

Cos if you do, youre just a pathetic liar.

IF you even really call what you had for that person love, you wouldnt leave them no matter what.

Even when faced with death. You would never.

SO WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR THE PERSON YOU LOVE?

leave?

stay?

hold on?

let them fight the weight of the world alone?

Cos if anyone of you ever stood by the people you love,

You are an angel.

Beautiful and strong.

super hero

2010-04-18T09:30:00.001-07:00

Im not superman, but i can save you

yeah you.

Back to the start

2010-04-17T09:41:00.001-07:00

Its not that simple anymore...

You could be

2010-04-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

At least when im up there, theres hope.

im bored

2010-04-15T23:33:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, i miss school.

dancing in the moonlight someday

2010-04-15T02:07:00.000-07:00

i miss dancing

finally its here...

The healing of harms

2010-04-11T21:32:00.000-07:00

sharon and shaun

Thank you for being here for me,
thank you for the ramen, the laughter, the lameness, the dumbness, the awesomeness, the company, the jokes, the car rides, the lessons ive learnt spending time with you guys, the presents, the yakult, the stupid giant book, the yoyo i broke, every saturday night's supper, the milo for breakfast, thanks for being "very cool".lol , thanks for 'spoiling my car' , thanks for the root bear float, the stupid floorball 'tricks' and most of all, thank you for being both of you. I love you guys. You both have been the best.

-If any of you have a problem with what i just said, *points the middle finger* and a satay for you.

Nothing but the blood of jesus

2010-04-08T10:34:00.000-07:00

"Life isnt about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain."-anonymous.

Saintz

2010-04-08T09:01:00.000-07:00

i miss my old school

Invictus by william ernest henly

2010-03-16T06:16:00.000-07:00

Invictus means unconquered in latin. I took the last part of the poem away cos its untrue. It says i am the captain of my soul. No. God is the captain of my soul. But for what its worth, this parts of the poem really gives me strength. Hope it brings you warmth and strength as well.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be,
for my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance,
My head is bloody but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears,
Looms but the Horror of the shade.
And yet the menace of the years,
Finds, and shall find me unafraid.
- william ernest henly-

sexy moves

2010-02-28T01:17:00.000-08:00

When you go to war

2010-02-24T06:34:00.000-08:00

When you go to war,
wouldnt it be nice if there was someone at home waiting for you?
Someone you could come home to,
and wipe away the blood and the dust of your uniform,
someone who takes away the cries and screams.
Wouldnt it be nice,
while you brave yourself on the battlefield,
fighting enemy troops,
dodging bullets and bombs,
running and saving the lives of your fellow soldiers,
wouldnt it be nice if there was someone in your heart you know you could come home to?
At least at your last breath,
you can know that youre not dying for nothing.

you will never understand

2010-02-15T04:40:00.000-08:00

" Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, thats all. You cant see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around the dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold on to it. You dance with it."
"Life has to end," she said. "Love doesnt."

-mitch albom-

sneak preview of cambodia

2010-02-11T07:43:00.000-08:00

from my faithful 500d

fragments of light

Bye bye blackbird. So long now

This too shall pass

For those who believe

Someday we'll know

One of these days you'll wonder why youre all alone.

Dont look back in anger

We all have to move on. One way or another

"When you're too in love to let it goBut if you never try you'll never knowJust what you're worth..." -coldplay

we are all humans

no flowery words, no fancy pictures, and no talk, just faith.

India

Reasons

Speedstar 5

Real men dont quit

Post Secret

Hope

Post Secret

Gold Coast Airport-Ascis Half Marathon (2-3 July 2011)

Asics speedstar 4

penang bridge run 21km half marathon

If i were a wizard

Have faith in me

History test tomorrow

One question.

I will always love you.

I will follow you into the dark

Uplands school. 1st runner up-iskl football tourney

Smile :)

Sigh

my cry

Close your eyes

The inevitable

this too shall pass

Charis by danieltsy.photos

Carmen

Never back down

Louis pang inspire workshop

Meet my lil bro shaun. He likes computer games...

Judo #day1

Pastor victor (portrait)

umbrella set up

georgetown festival 2010

coffee shop photoshoot

felix's photoshoot

camerons 2010 firebrands

Beverly's photoshoot

flash

Twin Light 20w Video Lighting

Castles in the sky

Emerald glass

Things that make love beauiful.

Go on, the stars are watching.

If only there was the easy way out...

School has been...

I Hate You

Move along

Nothing but the blood of jesus

Someday

the lights surrounding you

sound of music

love?

super hero

Back to the start

You could be

im bored

dancing in the moonlight someday

The healing of harms

Nothing but the blood of jesus

Saintz

Invictus by william ernest henly

sexy moves

When you go to war

you will never understand

sneak preview of cambodia

"When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth..." -coldplay