Sometimes in life, we see the things that we dont want to see. We go through the things that we dont want to go through. As humans, we dread every tear and heartache, and the most hurtful thing, watching the person you love with someone else. Its funny, how, in crowd of people, possibly millions, only one have the power to haunt you, and bring you to tears. Its funny how the hardest thing to do, is to let go.
Sometimes we built a wall to guard our hearts against the pain and hurt. Why then do those walls fall? Why then do we still feel hurt
My eyes have seen many things over the past 19 years. Like how they saw emptiness in a crowd full of people. Like how they never again saw another birthday cake with candles for 7 years. Like how they saw the person i used to love leave for another person. My heart? Well, i was called a useless son on my 15th birthday, slept in the lobby of a hotel because i had nowhere to go, beaten up by the roadside, cut myself, begged for money from strangers so that i can buy a reload card for someone who did not appreciate it even when i did not have enough money even for myself to buy food at school during break, been called shorty for millions of times, never been surprised for my birthday, stood alone when everyone turned their back on me, lost the best of friends, betrayed by someone i trusted time and time again while i was away in Cambodia, and continued to play floorball while the person i used to love showed up with another guy at the stadium. Maybe what i went through was not as bad as many people out there, but it was enough for me to drive me to the depths of the worst a person could be.
Today i stand here with a story to tell. And my story is not about how sad, angry and hurt i used to be. My story is that every tear will turn to armor, every pain and heartache will be lessons, every bad day is a reminder of the good days you are about to have, every fake smile will turn to real smiles, and for every person that leaves our lives, there is another that will come. Today i stand here not saying that i have changed or that i am fully recovered, i stand here today as someone who is willing to try to let go of the things that were never meant to be, and the past. I have learnt that in life, nobody can hurt you unless you give them the permission to do so. I have also learnt that, in every moment of anger, sadness and pain, that a smile would not be able to make things better, but it will help us dance gracefully through the tempests of the world. Because, sometimes, the only way out is through. Today i stand here and make a promise to myself, to never hurt the people that hurt me. Especially the ones that i used to love.
We never stop to think how much our lives can change if we had enough courage to pull out a smile in moments of anger and pain. But today, whoever you are, as you are reading this, learn to smile, love and let go of the past. All because life is too short for regrets.
This post is dedicated to my uncle.
Ong Cheng Ho
1939-2007
